It's probably no coincidence that the theme of the 1987 Miss America Pageant was the Heart of America.
That's not only because the winner of that pageant, Monroe's own Kaye Lani Rae Rafko-Wilson, had already shown her heart to the people of the Wolverine State and beyond during her brief almost three months as Miss Michigan, but, also, because of words from her mother, Jackie, that, now, 33 years later, almost seem prophetic.
"Every one of them (the 50 other contestants vying for the title) worked hard and knowing them I knew that anyone of them could have won Miss America," Rafko-Wilson said in a recent phone interview where she spoke about her time as both Miss Michigan and ultimately as the national titleholder.
What her mom told her before the competition is that she had hoped that her daughter would "Let the judges see her heart."
And that she did.
Not only did Rakfo-Wilson win the preliminary swimsuit competition in Atlantic City - a feat she also accomplished each of the three times she competed for the Miss Michigan crown - she, of course, impressed the judges with her heart and her devotion to her then-vocation as a registered nurse, to win the ultimate title, that of Miss America 1988.
Now, after having just recently celebrated 33 years since her triumph and that first walk down that famous Atlantic City runway, Rafko-Wilson reminisces about what got her to the national stage and philosophies that were beneficial to her not only back then, but even today.
For those who lived in the area, which includes Bedford, Monroe, and even across the boarder to Toledo, where Rafko-Wilson was working full time as a registered nurse in the Oncology wing at the St. Vincent Medical Center, it was a magical time, as her accomplishments, travel and, yes, heart, made her one of the most popular and well-traveled Miss Michigans and Miss Americas of all time.
Even before leaving for New Jersey to compete for the national crown, she said she traveled about 20,000 miles across Michigan making personal appearances, attending pageants and, most importantly, speaking about the need for more to follow her foot steps to the nursing profession.
"I had a car (donated by one of the sponsors of the Miss Michigan Pageant) and since I was 23, almost 24, I drove a lot. I drove everywhere," she said. "It was a fun summer as Miss Michigan."
It was also a busy summer, as Rafko-Wilson said she had time for only one mock interview, which are generally held for state titleholders ad nauseam in the months preceding the Miss America Pageant.
"I had no public speaking training," she said, "I just started talking about my family and nursing."
And, obviously Rafko-Wilson didn't need either the mock interviews or public speaking classes,
That's because the love for her vocation - and the ability to speak eloquently about it - enabled her to do exactly what her mother had said to do in the national interview.
And that was to show them her heart.
In fact, Rafko-Wilson credits winning the state crown and her many appearances across the state to preparing this self-described once "shy" girl for the scrutiny all Miss America contestants receive from the minute they step foot in Atlantic City.
The confidence she gained as Miss Michigan even impressed her mother so much so that she was no longer worried that her daughter's "shyness" might affect her judges' interview in New Jersey. In fact, after hearing her daughter speak at an appearance prior to her leaving for Atlantic City, Mrs. Rafko remarked that it was evident that the brief time Rafko-Wilson had traveled the state as Miss Michigan had noticeably helped her grow in both confidence and speaking ability.
The rest, as they say, is history, as Rafko-Wilson traveled approximately 20,000 miles a month as Miss America, not only speaking on behalf of the national organization and its sponsors, but also on her vocation. Her dedication to nursing and increasing awareness to hospice and the care for the terminally ill led Miss America officials to later implement a platform issue for future contestants, a part, of the pageant that remains to this day.
That's probably appropriate because if it hadn't been for Rafko-Wilson's nursing career, she might have not only not entered her first pageant, but also may not have even gone back to the Miss Michigan stage in 1987, after having been first runner up in the 1986 state competition.
A 1981 graduate of the-then St. Mary's Academy, she received her first semester bill to St. Vincent's School of Nursing at just about the same time the Miss Monroe County Pageant was to be held that year.
"I saw an ad and it mentioned the scholarship and I thought, oh, my gosh, I think I'm going to do this and signed up," she said.
As Miss Monroe County 1981, she ultimately became second runner up at the 1982 Miss Michigan Pageant. After competing at the 1984 Miss Ohio Pageant, as Miss Toledo, Rafko-Wilson went back to her home state as Miss Heart of Michigan for the 1986 state pageant.
That second-place finish in 1986 might have been the end of the road for Rafko-Wilson if not for two things, her actual nursing career and some, just, good fortune.
Even with a $5,000 nursing school debt still to pay, Rafko-Wilson thought her pageant days were over, as she she was working the midnight shift full time at St. Vs and was, quite frankly exhausted.
"I still had an overwhelming student loan and $5,000 back then was a lot of money, but I just thought I'd find another way to pay it off," she said.
That's where fate and her vocation collided to alter the course of Rafko-Wilson's life.
"One of my patients had leukemia and I overheard her husband saying they they wanted to go to Hawaii," she said, noting that she then had an idea that ultimately led to her decision to compete one last time.
Rafko-Wilson decided that since the woman was unlikely ever to realize her dream of traveling to the Aloha State, she decided to perform the same Hawaiian-Tahitian dance that she had used to compete in pageants for her, instead.
"She laughed and smiled more than I had ever seen," she said, noting that once she performed for that patients, the other nurses on the Oncology ward ended up having her dance for their patients, as well.
And that ended up not only bringing joy to the patients, but being beneficial to Rafko-Wilson, too, as it gave her continued practice for a talent she thought she would never use again in pageant competition.
"I remember her asking when is your next pageant," she said, noting that she told her she was done competing to which she said, "I think you should try one more time."
"I thought a lot about it," she said, adding that her mother had said to her "You can't give God an ultimatum. It's not your time, it's his," in reference to Rafko-Wilson thinking that since she didn't win the crown in 1986, perhaps, she was not destined to win it at all.
And that's where fate - or you might say good fortune - comes in.
While deciding whether to enter a local competition for the 1987 Miss Michigan Pageant, her parents bought Chinese food that night. The fortune cookie Rafko-Wilson opened that evening said five simple words: "Next Year is Your Year."
More prophetic words for a young woman who was destined to be Miss America, even if she didn't know it at the time.
After that fateful fortune, Rafko-Wilson entered and won Miss Monroe County a second time in the summer of 86 and diligently prepared for Miss Michigan while also working full time in Toledo.
Flash forward to September 1988 and even as she was one of six state winners remaining at the 1987 Pageant waiting to hear whose name Gary Collins would call out as the winner, Rafko-Wilson still didn't let her mind go there that she might possibly be the winner.
Her iconic reaction - arguably one of the best in the now-100-year history of the pageant - clearly showed she had no idea she was going to be the winner. In fact, it's a wonder she didn't pass out.
"I had no idea (she was going to win.) Quite honestly, I was so wrapped up by the love and affection (of family and friends.) I was just enjoying the ride," she said, adding, "Every one of us came prepared. I was in extreme shock. It didn't set in until a couple of days after."
As advice for future pageant aspirants, Rafko-Wilson offers these words that she took to heart when she competed. They basically were her mantra going in to the national pageant.
"It wasn't about me, this was something bigger than me, it is so much more than just yourself," she said, noting that you are representing your entire state and you want to be an exemplary role model for those people.
Despite a year that she said could be draining at times, Rafko-Wilson took this philosophy into her year of service and it served her well.
"I never got tired of it. I approached every appearance like it was the first and only one I would get," she said, adding that "I developed so many friendships through this program, too," then noting so many of the pageant "sisters" she competed with and their various accomplishments both in Atlantic City and after crowning their state successors.
Upon crowning her own successor, Rafko-Wilson has had a full life.
She has remained in Monroe where she is now the executive director of Gabby's Grief Center, formerly known as Gabby's Ladder, a bereavement center for children and their families, and has been married for 31 years to her husband, Chuck, who she started dating in 1983, They have three children, Nicholas, who with his wife, Lauren, has just made them grandparents for the first time when on Rafko-Wilson's own birthday, their granddaughter, Ivy Elizabeth, was born.
The Wilsons also have a daughter, Alana, 24, who has also followed in her mother's footsteps and is a former Miss Monroe County, too, and Joseph, 20, a sophomore at Grand Valley State University in Allendale Township.
Perhaps, Rafko-Wilson's legacy isn't really that she won Miss America, it might be what she accomplished after the crown that fall night 33 years ago.
As a former Miss America she was able to gain entry into places she might not, otherwise, have gotten into to continue advocating her own platform issue. However, this quote she gave is telling as to what type of person she is and that she has always kept things in perspective, even when competing.
"You have to have more goals than to just win the crown. I wanted to grow as a person and develop lifelong friendships," she said.
Obviously those are words Rafko-Wilson has lived by and are pieces of advice any young woman who wants to eventually join the elite Miss America sisterhood need to heed.
Actually, take out the word crown and those are words everyone should live by.
One thing is for certain, though, those life lessons and words she took to her own heart led the humble, articulate and genuine Monroe County girl to capture the literal heart of America by her life-transforming win.
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