How Those Who Have Inspired Me Set Bar High For My Personal Growth

Many people come in and out of a person's life, but only a special few have a lasting impact on the journey taken that makes them a better individual. 

I can honestly trace my own growth to several people who have influenced my own life and, to this day, have inspired me in a variety of ways.

Some of these people I've never acknowledged in person as to how they helped shape and mold who I am, while others are still in my life and continue to make me a better person and I want to show my gratitude in print for the first time.

The first two people I think of go back to my high school days at St. Francis deSales High School in Toledo.

Both Coach Tom Stevens and Coach Chris Albright influenced me for different reasons.

For Stevens, it was his constant encouragement to follow my own career path and brotherly advice he gave when I wasn't getting the support I needed at home.

Coach Albright inspired me for an entirely different reason, as his love for government and political science classes was contagious to a teen who already found both subjects fascinating. 

His insights and take no prisoners type of instruction encouraged me to take an active role in the political process, something I have continued to some extent even to this day.

In college, it was another coach who took me under his wings and made a positive impact on my future just by being there.

Legendary University of Toledo basketball coach Bobby Nichols was an icon long before I showed up on the hollowed grounds at UT.

Being a reporter, and later editor for the college newspaper, The Collegian, I longed to get an interview from the iconic coach, who was known to be media shy and a man of few words.

After initially granting me an interview,  I did my absolute best to ensure the quality of my work would measure up to his lofty standards. 

Luckily, it did, as we became close throughout the rest of my years at UT, both as a mentor and a confidante. He showed me how important loyalty was and how vital it was to get the facts straight when writing.

He also taught me the importance of media contacts and how to not betray that trust a person gives you for the sake of a story or a gratuitous headline - both important things to remember in my eventual career as a journalist.

Knowing when off the record meant exactly that is something he taught me and proved that once you have someone's trust, they will come to you with the exclusive because you didn't betray that bond in the past.

The highlights of my time at UT was having Coach Nichols accept my invitation to my college newspaper's year-end banquet, an appearance none of my peers could believe would happen, and his memorable calls to my office on the campus to come by his office to talk about the anatomy of basketball coaching or just shoot the breeze.

Those chats ironically enough, also provided me with valuable anatomy of life lessons that I hold close to my heart even to this day.

In fact the whole idea of this column and ultimately our Bedford Press Roving Reporter question this issue came about from watching a recent UT basketball game on the CBS Sports Network where they did a short tribute to the coach and made me remember all the things he had taught me some 30 plus years ago.

My next person who inspired me actually was the focus of an entire feature and side column in a recent edition of The Bedford Press. Interviewing Kaye Lani Rae Rafko in 1987 when she was Miss Michigan prior to her being crowned Miss America 1988, I could see she was someone special. 

Her ultimate victory and subsequent work she did during her reign - and more importantly after it - inspired me to become an active volunteer in the Miss America Program and later a member of the board of directors for the Miss Florida Scholarship Program.  

Using my talents and gifts to encourage and inspire people was a gift I could give back to others, just as Rafko's tireless work on behalf of the nursing profession and her work for the terminally ill was a passion she gave back to the entire country. 

Perhaps, because my own mother was terminally ill at the time of Rakfo's crowning, it created an instant bond between what she was doing and what I was dealing with. Either way, she inspired - and continues to inspire me - with her devotion to community service and humanity.

My next person who has inspired me since the day I met her is Karen Bankowski Daggett.

She gave me a writing job when I needed one out of college and, now years later, has given me another opportunity to do what I Iove and what I know I'm called to do. Her faith in me and encouragement to do my best fuels me today as it did 30 years ago.

She makes me think outside the box and challenges me to do my best, always.

What is particularly inspiring to me about her is her never give up attitude that permeates through everything she does. Faced with her own personal loss of a daughter at an early age, she continues to remain positive and wants to see the good in people and for all of us who work for her to reflect that in our work by writing and providing the community with uplifting, positive stories that build people up, rather than tear them down.

Her community service work throughout the years only highlights the attitude that she lives her life by and she runs her newspaper with that same mantra.

In a time where print publications are fading away and people get their news and information mainly through both television and the internet, she has never compromised her integrity and continues to publish a positive community newspaper, often at times at the expense of her own bank account.

She believes in the good in people and wants to reflect that in the newspaper she prints. Those are all admirable qualities that should be praised, honored and emulated by people in today's topsy, turvy society.

More often than not people in your workplace are just that, people you associate with and not particularly inspiring.

Randy LoFaso, my manager at Sears in Ohio, is a an exception. He's different. 

From even before I had applied for a job there, I was immediately struck by how he was hands-on with his job, helping his associates put up displays, while also paying close attention to the needs of the customers in his store. 

I wanted to work there because I knew he was a person who would make the job enjoyable because he cared about what he was doing.

He took a chance on me when I was in desperate need of a job and only had limited retail experience and mentored and supported me, promoting me and seeing the potential in me before I even saw it in myself.

Subsequently,  we have both gone on to different careers, but he continues to offer me advice and has my back always,  just as I have his. He's a real role model to me and we need more leaders in the workplace like Randy.

Finally,  the last person. who inspires me is someone I've never met in person, yet he feels like a brother to me. 

I first became a fan of Kevin Weekes when he played in the National Hockey League. I became an even bigger fan of his after his career came to an end and he became the lead analyst on the NHL Network.

His insights and commentary are always spot on, but that's not the most important thing about Weekes.

His giving back to the community and tireless efforts to encourage young athletes to see their full potential are traits that makes him even more special. He definitely sets a great example for others to aspire to and emulate. 

Through social media contacts throughout the past few years, I've gotten to know the man behind the goaltender's mask. He goes above and beyond for his fans, family, friends and society in general. He has encouraged me when I'm down and even made sure I was recovering after a hospital stay.

More importantly,  he has inspired me to take a renewed interest in community activism and in standing up for what is right.

Hearing his own story on how he had been treated as both a black player in a predominantly white man's sport and the discrimination he has faced in general due to the color of his skin both angered and saddened me, as it shows just how little we have progressed as a society and how far we have to go to achieve true equality. 

His work in founding a grassroots initiative that brings the sport -  and shows the benefits of it - to disadvantaged and minority children is just one prime example of how he goes the extra mile to give back to the community and is just one of many reasons I hold him in such high esteem.

He is an ambassador for not only the sport,  but to community activism and reflects the verse that to those whom much is given - all of which he earned through hard work,  tenacity and dedication - much is required.

That he is not afraid to share his story and to share his views, has encouraged me to go the extra mile and do more to support the cause that is so critical to the future success of society. 

In an era where there are many athletes who make the headlines for their bad behavior off the playing field, Weekes stands out for his exceptional compassion toward people and his continued work to advocate for justice and equality for all. 

And he proves to me that I'm not too old to grow, to do more, to do better and to, perhaps, inspire people, just like he and those others I've written about here have inspired me. 

Gist Uses Life After The Crown To Promote Fitness

"Run your race."

That was pretty much Carole Gist's mantra on her way to capturing the 1990 Miss USA crown and also is basically how she has lived her life since she surrendered the title.

In the years since capturing the crown, Gist has maintained an active professional life that even the go-getter would have difficulty keeping up with.

In addition to continuing to being an advocate for those less fortunate, including those who have low self-esteem issues or have experienced physical abuse, Gist has plans to write a book, or even possibly, a series of books chronicling everything from her pageant and life experiences to nutrition and fitness, the latter of which she has taken to the next level in several different ways.

"I'm trying to figure out how to package the story," she said, adding, that the book and ideas have been years in the making, but "it was so hard for to write in the beginning, it was making me vulnerable to share (her life story) I feel ready now."

Now being focused on moving forward, Gist says she wants the book to inspire others.

"I feel better and am happiest in life when I'm helping other people," she said, adding, that she wants to get back on the speaking circuit and talk about moving forward and overcoming life's challenges.

"Be the best you," she said.

Since 2006, Gist has worked for the athletic department at Wayne State University and now oversees the wellness department.

In her current role, she oversees the hiring of teachers, instructors and trainers and was the first female head trainer in the school's history.

As with any position, Gist had to work her way up the ladder, as she noted that in the beginning of her stint at Wayne State she strictly taught fitness classes, something she still enjoys to this day. Her current role sees her still teaching to physical education majors and members of the school's athletic department and kinesiology program.

Gist recently received her second masters degree - this one in sports administration, the first was in kinesiology  (the study of the mechanics of body movements) - from Wayne State and also runs her own private business, Royal Physique Fitness, under the auspice of the Gist Group, which she founded in 2006. The business was formed to encompass all that she was doing both personally and professionally.

In addition to her hectic career, Gist has also raised her daughter, now 28, and son, 23, basically as a single parent.

"They are a source of pride for me," she said.

She also loves archery and is preparing for competition with the Elite Angels Archery Team.

Just how does Gist keep up such an active lifestyle?

The answer is fairly simple.

"It's a journey that I'm on," she said, noting that even she can be overwhelmed by her hectic schedule at times. "Many times, I have felt that way, but I just love keeping it moving. It's a fine balance. Balance is important and key."

She explained that for her the key to balancing everything is to take a vacation every so often and take one day a week just for yourself, and "have a good calendar," she joked.

Saying that fitness is a way of life for her and that it saved her life, it was a key to her winning the Miss USA title and is something she enjoys and feels is important in moving her life forward.

As for pageant naysayers who are against the controversial swimsuit portion of the Miss USA Pageant, Gist explains why she feels it's an important aspect of the competition and why young women competing for the title should embrace it.

"I'm fine with it," she said, explaining "It shows poise and grace under pressure and is as close to being vulnerable as you can be."

Since most young women work out anyway, she feels the swimsuit portion is a good avenue for them to show the fruits of their labors.

"It speaks to being persistent to a goal. I don't think it's sexist at all, no more so than a bodybuilding competition," she said, noting that the men and women in those such competitions often are clad in much less than pageant contestants wear during the swimsuit phase of the pageant.

With many changes having taken place since Gist won her crown 31 years ago, she said she is hopeful that new Miss USA executive director, Crystle Stewart, who also won the national title in 2008, will take the pageant in a direction more reminiscent of what it was when she competed.

One thing that has changed for the positive, she said, is that so many of the women competing in today's Miss USA system are already grounded in their careers and have a maturity most contestants of her era lacked.

She explained that the median age of competitors has gone up in the ensuing 30 years since she won and that many - if not most - of the contestants today now have already graduated college and are pursuing their careers, traits she sees as positives in the evolution of the pageant.

"The big difference is women having already graduated and they are professionals already. We were all still in school," she said, noting that she likes that the percentages of the three competitions have remained the same since her days of competing, with swimsuit, evening gown and interview all weighing equally in choosing the five finalists.

She does hope that under Stewart's auspice the pageant gets back to its more glamorous days that featured the military escorts and long, elegant staircases for evening gown, and many other things that were once staples of the broadcast.

She also has pointed words for what the pageant became under the auspice of Donald Trump, who owned it from 1996-2015.

"It was a lingerie show versus a pageant," she said. "I was really disappointed."

Having gone back to many pageants now over the years, Gist said she embraces her own victory and hopes the young women who have followed her also realize what a value having the Miss USA crown can be.

Gist, like pageant enthusiasts around the world, is hopeful that at the beginning of this new decade and new era of the Miss USA Pageant, the system can look proudly back at its history and embrace it as it moves forward with even greater purpose in the coming years.

And with her iconic and history-making win now behind her, Gist has contributed to both the history and the Confidently Beautiful mantra the pageant has taken as its slogan in recent years.

For more details on Carole, go to www.carolegist.com 

Iconic Miss USA Winner Discusses Her Trailblazing Win

Talk about a twist of fate.

Carole Gist blazed trails as the first black woman to win the Miss USA crown. 

However, her iconic 1990 win almost didn't happen at all.

Having already entered the Miss Michigan USA Pageant that would be the state title that led her to her national victory, Gist had actually decided not to participate in it.

And that's where fate intervened, in the form of a tuition balance she owed from Northwood College, where she was taking undergraduate courses.

For the eventual winner, even entering in the first place took some prompting from a model friend of hers, Anthonia Dotson, who just happened to be Miss Michigan USA 1988.

"Anthonia Dotson said you should apply. She used to say you'd be a great Miss USA," Gist said, adding, "and I said I'm not going to do that, I'm not going to win."

With continued encouragement from Dotson, Gist did eventually enter for the 1989 pageant,  though she mentioned, "I applied and then showed up for judging just to be considered as a delegate."

After receiving an acceptance letter for her entry to the pageant, she said "I don't want to do this and threw the letter away."

That's where, a year later, the fate entered, as on the same day Gist received a letter from her college saying that she was short for the next semester's tuition, she received a follow-up letter from the pageant saying that she was still eligible to compete in the 1990 competition based on her acceptance to the 1989 contest.

Deciding to do it to raise that needed tuition money, Gist said "I had a vision of just placing," and joked that the small amounts of donations she quickly received from different people to enter and get some wardrobe pieces would have actually paid the tuition.

After having decided to compete in the state pageant, Gist had only four days to raise money to participate and find a wardrobe for the event.

Obviously, the last-minute decision paid off, as she won the state crown and was soon on her way to Wichita, Kansas, site of the 1990 Miss USA Pageant, where she would make history for three reasons.

In addition to being the first black woman crowned, she also was the first Miss Michigan to win the title and her victory ended an unprecedented five-year win streak by the state of Texas.

Winning the state crown in a gown Gist describes as a "white , layered poofy dress," Gist impressed the judges enough to win the title and advance to the national competition, albeit without a lot of the wardrobe and coaching young women from more typical pageant states such as Texas, California and Florida had.

Other than her pageant directors, "I didn't have pageant coaches," she said, adding that as a student and an athlete - with scholarships in both track and volleyball - her participation in sports got her into shape and she didn't need a personal trainer.

Also, being a pompom girl for the school's basketball team contributed to Gist being in great shape. And, besides her participation in sports, she would take the stairs instead of an elevator and purposely park her car farther away at school so she could walk to her classes. 

Her pageant directors prepped her for interview, but Gist said she already paid close attention to the news due to the government and economic courses she had enrolled in at Northwood.

"I was an athlete and didn't need a personal trainer," she said, adding that for her studies she would watch CNN and read various newspapers to prepare her for the grueling interview process, that, more often than not, determines the actual winner.

"That was the extent of my pageant preparation," she said, noting, though, that she had modeled since the age of 12 and knew how to project herself on stage.

Although she may have not been as prepared as contestants from typical pageant states, she arrived in Wichita ready to compete.

"Being from the Midwest, it was not pageant central, however, I didn't feel intimidated by the girls from the Southern states and California."

For the most part.

Gist does admit to having a few moments when she first arrived in Wichita where she did doubt herself and felt she didn't belong there, but those thoughts were short lived once she basically had a come to Jesus moment where she realized she was worthy of the competition and would just be her best version of Carole that she could be.

"I did feel intimidated initially when I first arrived," she said, adding she was thinking, "Here's this black girl competing against all these other blondes and tall brunettes. I just wanted to turn around and go back to the airport. Then I had a spiritual moment where I felt a tug on me and it made me realize that I deserved to be here."

It paid off, for Gist, who said she enjoyed the pageant experience and her other contestants immensely during her weeks leading up to the nationally televised pageant.

"I never had a negative pageant experience with girls being catty," she said, adding that she actually helped other contestants get ready backstage at times at the competition.

"I love that about me," Gist continued. "It doesn't take anything away from me to help another beautiful woman. It help pushes you to be your best. I'm not in competition with the next person in line, I'm in competition with me. You should compete against yourself to be the best person you can be.

"I just went up and introduced myself to the other girls and told myself I wasn't going to be uncomfortable. I just wanted to make me, my state and my family proud," she added.

And Gist even noted that she felt less pressure about the pageant than some of the other more seasoned competitors, especially Miss Texas, who had the legacy of the five other national winners from the Lone Star State to try and uphold.

"I saw the pressure Miss Texas was under and I prayed with and encouraged her. I cared about the human. I hope I left an impression on her for my actions that week," Gist said.

Those are actually words to live by for not only pageant contestants, but for everyone. And by living her life like that, Gist said "then you have nothing to regret, you have nothing to be ashamed of."

While Gist had no regrets about her Miss USA competition, she did have a major regret about her Miss Universe one.

After the final question at Miss USA, Gist said she felt good about her response and realized that over thinking and being self critical about her answer was a waste of time. At that point, "It was over, so just be proud of this moment," she noted.

Leaving that stage with the crown left Gist floating on cloud nine, as one would expect, although certain things did enter her mind in the moments after winning the title.

"I was thanking God and then my next thought was now maybe my family would accept me. I was always seeking approval from my family, which was due to the dynamics from how I had lived," Gist said, noting that both her father and mother had suffered from addiction at various points in her life and she had to often raise herself and seek her own approval rather than theirs.

"I was always trying to be what I thought made my family happy," she said, adding that it took years for her to recover from that and garner the amount of self esteem and pride in herself she has now.

After a short appearance at the coronation ball, Gist soon realized how different her life would be as Miss USA, as she was taken back to her room and was not allowed to have her family there, something she mentioned to them later as needing to be corrected for future titleholders.

At that point, "It was the saddest moment of the night for me. I had no family there and was hungry. I was excited and not allowed to share that with them," she said.

Having borrowed almost all her wardrobe - save her interview suit - from the wife of her boss at the hotel she had been working at in Midland, Michigan, prior to winning, Gist said the first stop they made en route to her first appearances in New York as Miss USA was to Dallas, where one of the sponsors of the pageant, JC Penney, provided her with some ensembles for her media tour and initial appearances as the national winner.

Following her win, Gist had only about a month to prepare for the Miss Universe Pageant held in April in Los Angeles. And that's where the aforementioned regret she has comes into play.

Basically exhausted by that point due to many appearances and the lack of down time in between Miss USA and Miss Universe, Gist said "I was rundown and didn't fell well. I was dropping cough drops into hot tea."

Despite not feeling 100 percent, Gist was one of three young women still left standing at the conclusion of the international event.

That pageant resulted in actually two regrets for the stately titleholder, who at 6-0 is one of the tallest Miss USA winners of all time.

The first thing she regrets she had no control over, the second one directly impacted her eventual first runner-up finish at the international event.

The pageant was originally scheduled to be held in Sri Lanka, but was moved to Los Angeles, and Gist was all excited about traveling abroad for the first time, save trips to Canada and the Bahamas, in her past.

The second regret is one she has to this day and is a source of great advice for pageant participants everywhere about second guessing things when competing.

The final question that year was if you were a judge who would you choose as Miss Universe and why?

"That was not the answer I had on my lips," she said, noting that she wanted to promote her candidacy to the judges, but "I thought that was arrogant and I would sound conceited to say myself."

At the coronation ball following the pageant, some of the judges came up to her and asked her why she gave that answer "The judges said, why did you hold back," she said, noting that had she gone with what was in her heart she would have won the pageant instead of placing as first runner up.

During her ensuing year as Miss USA, Gist lived in LA with the winner of the Miss Universe Pageant, Mona Grudt of Norway, and found that they shared similar stories and paths on to their national victories.

Both Gist and Grudt came from humble upbringings and didn't have a lot of money to buy clothes for their national pageants. That provided an instant bond between the two who "got along great" and enjoyed their living arrangements and their reigns.

And while Gist also enjoyed traveling the nation and being a representative for young people, especially in her role as an ambassador to the Boys and Girls Clubs, there were things that she didn't relish about her time as Miss USA.

Having been vocal about some of her treatment by pageant officials during her year as Miss USA, she noted that she also did not receive some of her promised prizes for winning and she spoke out about it during and after her reign, comments and actions she does not regret even if it possibly had an adverse effect on her later career aspirations in California upon relinquishing the crown.

"The prizes were not always what they said and the prize money was a salary," Gist said, noting, that other former winners had to deal with the same problems and she chose to speak out against it to protect future winners.

Putting those negatives aside, Gist says she does not regret entering nor her eventual reign, especially because of the impact she was able to have with at-risk youth, a cause she still champions.

"I had a heart for at-risk youth because that could have been me. I was driven to not be a statistic," she said, noting that at at one time in her life she had lived in a car and had to hold down three jobs at a time just to survive.

Her mantra to those she met at her Boys and Girls Clubs appearances was clear and resonating because it basically told her own life story.

"No matter what stumbling blocks or potholes life throws in your path, don't let it derail your path to achieving your dreams."

Gist noted that during her reign she soon realized the title was not "about me or for me," a sentiment that became pointedly clear as she appeared at children's hospitals and detention centers in addition to her work with the Boys and Girls Clubs.

"Don't waste the life you have or could have holding on to the thoughts or the hopes of a life you wished you had or felt you should have had," she said.

And, as has been noted, Gist's win was trailblazing and historic, both notes that weren't lost on the queen during and even after her reign.

"I kind of did see myself as a trailblazer," Gist said, adding that she had always had high aspirations, including to become the first female and black general manager of a Ritz-Carlton property.

And being a trailblazer as the first black Miss USA didn't come without pitfalls, as Gist said she received death threats during her reign, though she was basically shielded from them and only discovered the extent of the threats after her year was over.

"I got letters from people who weren't happy and I was like, 'Really? It was just a pageant,' she said. "I just wanted to spread joy and love."

Unfortunately, even today, black youth face some of the same discrimination Gist grew up with and had to deal with during her year as Miss USA and she notes that "we shouldn't have to be saying Black Lives Matter," but part of the problem has stemmed from others who do not support racism not voicing their opinions against those who do.

"That has always been a part of the problem,". Your silence is acceptance," Gist said.

As a trailblazing Miss USA, who paved the way for 10 other women of color to eventually succeed her to the throne, Gist is proud of her accomplishments, And, despite the pitfalls that any job has, she reflects now, almost 31 years later, with fondness on the year she served the nation and the the impact she made throughout the country.

With history on her side, Gist definitely maintained the integrity her predecessors brought to the crown and added her own luster to the title that her 30 other successor have worked hard to emulate.

In Part Two of my interview with Carole Gist, she will give her thoughts on the current state of the Miss USA Pageant and what she thinks of the controversial swimsuit portion of the event.

Rafko-Wilson Fondly Remembers Miss America Reign

It's probably no coincidence that the theme of the 1987 Miss America Pageant was the Heart of America.

That's not only because the winner of that pageant, Monroe's own Kaye Lani Rae Rafko-Wilson, had already shown her heart to the people of the Wolverine State and beyond during her brief almost three months as Miss Michigan, but, also, because of words from her mother, Jackie, that, now, 33 years later, almost seem prophetic.

"Every one of them (the 50 other contestants vying for the title) worked hard and knowing them I knew that anyone of them could have won Miss America," Rafko-Wilson said in a recent phone interview where she spoke about her time as both Miss Michigan and ultimately as the national titleholder.

What her mom told her before the competition is that she had hoped that her daughter would "Let the judges see her heart." 

And that she did.

Not only did Rakfo-Wilson win the preliminary swimsuit competition in Atlantic City - a feat she also accomplished each of the three times she competed for the Miss Michigan crown - she, of course, impressed the judges with her heart and her devotion to her then-vocation as a registered nurse, to win the ultimate title, that of Miss America 1988.

Now, after having just recently celebrated 33 years since her triumph and that first walk down that famous Atlantic City runway, Rafko-Wilson reminisces about what got her to the national stage and philosophies that were beneficial to her not only back then, but even today.

For those who lived in the area, which includes Bedford, Monroe, and even across the boarder to Toledo, where Rafko-Wilson was working full time as a registered nurse in the Oncology wing at the St. Vincent Medical Center, it was a magical time, as her accomplishments, travel and, yes, heart, made her one of the most popular and well-traveled Miss Michigans and Miss Americas of all time.

Even before leaving for New Jersey to compete for the national crown, she said she traveled about 20,000 miles across Michigan making personal appearances, attending pageants and, most importantly, speaking about the need for more to follow her foot steps to the nursing profession.

"I had a car (donated by one of the sponsors of the Miss Michigan Pageant) and since I was 23, almost 24, I drove a lot. I drove everywhere," she said. "It was a fun summer as Miss Michigan."

It was also a busy summer, as Rafko-Wilson said she had time for only one mock interview, which are generally held for state titleholders ad nauseam in the months preceding the Miss America Pageant.

"I had no public speaking training," she said, "I just started talking about my family and nursing."

And, obviously Rafko-Wilson didn't need either the mock interviews or public speaking classes,

That's because the love for her vocation - and the ability to speak eloquently about it - enabled her to do exactly what her mother had said to do in the national interview.

And that was to show them her heart.

In fact, Rafko-Wilson credits winning the state crown and her many appearances across the state to preparing this self-described once "shy" girl for the scrutiny all Miss America contestants receive from the minute they step foot in Atlantic City.

The confidence she gained as Miss Michigan even impressed her mother so much so that she was no longer worried that her daughter's "shyness" might affect her judges' interview in New Jersey. In fact, after hearing her daughter speak at an appearance prior to her leaving for Atlantic City, Mrs. Rafko remarked that it was evident that the brief time Rafko-Wilson had traveled the state as Miss Michigan had noticeably helped her grow in both confidence and speaking ability.

The rest, as they say, is history, as Rafko-Wilson traveled approximately 20,000 miles a month as Miss America, not only speaking on behalf of the national organization and its sponsors, but also on her vocation. Her dedication to nursing and increasing awareness to hospice and the care for the terminally ill led Miss America officials to later implement a platform issue for future contestants, a part, of the pageant that remains to this day.

That's probably appropriate because if it hadn't been for Rafko-Wilson's nursing career, she might have not only not entered her first pageant, but also may not have even gone back to the Miss Michigan stage in 1987, after having been first runner up in the 1986 state competition.

A 1981 graduate of the-then St. Mary's Academy, she received her first semester bill to St. Vincent's School of Nursing at just about the same time the Miss Monroe County Pageant was to be held that year.

"I saw an ad and it mentioned the scholarship and I thought, oh, my gosh, I think I'm going to do this and signed up," she said.

As Miss Monroe County 1981, she ultimately became second runner up at the 1982 Miss Michigan Pageant. After competing at the 1984 Miss Ohio Pageant, as Miss Toledo, Rafko-Wilson went back to her home state as Miss Heart of Michigan for the 1986 state pageant.

That second-place finish in 1986 might have been the end of the road for Rafko-Wilson if not for two things, her actual nursing career and some, just, good fortune.

Even with a $5,000 nursing school debt still to pay, Rafko-Wilson thought her pageant days were over, as she she was working the midnight shift full time at St. Vs and was, quite frankly exhausted.

"I still had an overwhelming student loan and $5,000 back then was a lot of money, but I just thought I'd find another way to pay it off," she said.

That's where fate and her vocation collided to alter the course of Rafko-Wilson's life.

"One of my patients had leukemia and I overheard her husband saying they they wanted to go to Hawaii," she said, noting that she then had an idea that ultimately led to her decision to compete one last time.

Rafko-Wilson decided that since the woman was unlikely ever to realize her dream of traveling to the Aloha State, she decided to perform the same Hawaiian-Tahitian dance that she had used to compete in pageants for her, instead.

"She laughed and smiled more than I had ever seen," she said, noting that once she performed for that patients, the other nurses on the Oncology ward ended up having her dance for their patients, as well.

And that ended up not only bringing joy to the patients, but being beneficial to Rafko-Wilson, too, as it gave her continued practice for a talent she thought she would never use again in pageant competition.

"I remember her asking when is your next pageant," she said, noting that she told her she was done competing to which she said, "I think you should try one more time."

"I thought a lot about it," she said, adding that her mother had said to her "You can't give God an ultimatum. It's not your time, it's his," in reference to Rafko-Wilson thinking that since she didn't win the crown in 1986, perhaps, she was not destined to win it at all.

And that's where fate - or you might say good fortune - comes in.

While deciding whether to enter a local competition for the 1987 Miss Michigan Pageant, her parents bought Chinese food that night. The fortune cookie Rafko-Wilson opened that evening said five simple words: "Next Year is Your Year."

More prophetic words for a young woman who was destined to be Miss America, even if she didn't know it at the time.

After that fateful fortune, Rafko-Wilson entered and won Miss Monroe County a second time in the summer of 86 and diligently prepared for Miss Michigan while also working full time in Toledo.

Flash forward to September 1988 and even as she was one of six state winners remaining at the 1987 Pageant waiting to hear whose name Gary Collins would call out as the winner, Rafko-Wilson still didn't let her mind go there that she might possibly be the winner.

Her iconic reaction - arguably one of the best in the now-100-year history of the pageant - clearly showed she had no idea she was going to be the winner. In fact, it's a wonder she didn't pass out.

"I had no idea (she was going to win.) Quite honestly, I was so wrapped up by the love and affection (of family and friends.) I was just enjoying the ride," she said, adding, "Every one of us came prepared. I was in extreme shock. It didn't set in until a couple of days after."

As advice for future pageant aspirants, Rafko-Wilson offers these words that she took to heart when she competed. They basically were her mantra going in to the national pageant.

"It wasn't about me, this was something bigger than me, it is so much more than just yourself," she said, noting that you are representing your entire state and you want to be an exemplary role model for those people.

Despite a year that she said could be draining at times, Rafko-Wilson took this philosophy into her year of service and it served her well.

"I never got tired of it. I approached every appearance like it was the first and only one I would get," she said, adding that "I developed so many friendships through this program, too," then noting so many of the pageant "sisters" she competed with and their various accomplishments both in Atlantic City and after crowning their state successors.

Upon crowning her own successor, Rafko-Wilson has had a full life.

She has remained in Monroe where she is now the executive director of Gabby's Grief Center, formerly known as Gabby's Ladder, a bereavement center for children and their families, and has been married for 31 years to her husband, Chuck, who she started dating in 1983, They have three children, Nicholas, who with his wife, Lauren, has just made them grandparents for the first time when on Rafko-Wilson's own birthday, their granddaughter, Ivy Elizabeth, was born.

The Wilsons also have a daughter, Alana, 24, who has also followed in her mother's footsteps and is a former Miss Monroe County, too, and Joseph, 20, a sophomore at Grand Valley State University in Allendale Township.

Perhaps, Rafko-Wilson's legacy isn't really that she won Miss America, it might be what she accomplished after the crown that fall night 33 years ago.

As a former Miss America she was able to gain entry into places she might not, otherwise, have gotten into to continue advocating her own platform issue. However, this quote she gave is telling as to what type of person she is and that she has always kept things in perspective, even when competing.

"You have to have more goals than to just win the crown. I wanted to grow as a person and develop lifelong friendships," she said.

Obviously those are words Rafko-Wilson has lived by and are pieces of advice any young woman who wants to eventually join the elite Miss America sisterhood need to heed.

Actually, take out the word crown and those are words everyone should live by. 

One thing is for certain, though, those life lessons and words she took to her own heart led the humble, articulate and genuine Monroe County girl to capture the literal heart of America by her life-transforming win.

Touring Llanview, Bay City, Oakdale and Henderson, McCabe Leaves Her Mark On Genre

When a soap opera gets canceled, many actors scramble to find their next role, while some immediately get picked up by another soap. 

And then there are others who decide to take a break from the medium altogether 

Marcia McCabe took the latter route. 

After having played heroine Sunny Adamson on Search for Tomorrow for close to nine years, the acclaimed and popular actress said she was "frankly exhausted" and needed a little down time before rejoining the ranks of employed soap actors.

"It was very healthy for me to take some time off," McCabe said, noting that she was at the age where she wanted to just enjoy life and not get up at the crack of dawn each day to go to the studio.

It also helped her deal with the loss of both her parents in a house fire prior to joining Search.

"I had lost both of my parents and hadn't really had a chance to mourn for them," she said, explaining that the rigors of her full-time role on Search provided her with an escape and once she wasn't working she had time to properly mourn and reflect on the tragedy and their loss.

After recharging her batteries, McCabe was cast with much fanfare in the newly created role of Alicia Grande on the top-rated ABC sudser One Life to Live, a role she played for about nine months before the character was, unfortunately, a victim of plot twist and was killed off in order for the show to pursue a complicated baby switch storyline. 

"It was a great part," said McCabe in reference to Alicia "and I really wanted to work."

She does regret that then OLTL executive producer Paul Rauch never told her that the character was doomed from the start and not slated to last past her initial contract. Still, she does not regret taking the role and enjoyed the show. She does think in retrospect she might not have done all the publicity for the part had she known she wouldn't be a long-term fixture on the show.

As for doing an hour-long soap as opposed to the 30-minute Search, she said there wasn't a big difference because OLTL filmed by set rather than by the actual script.

"I didn't notice much of a difference because by the time I got to One Life, they had changed how the filmed it and so much was about where you were in the lineup," she said, noting that her apartment was in close proximity to the studio so she could even go home for lunch.

It also helped that her character didn't have a lot of interactions with the broad OLTL canvas and, rather, with only a select set of characters.

"It was very easy. I had very compartmentalized scenes," she noted.

In between her One Life and All My Children stints, McCabe actually had auditioned for another role on AMC, that ultimately went to actress Phyllis Lyons. Interesting to me and I pointed out to her during the course of our conversation that the role Lyons played was Arlene Vaughn, the alcoholic mother of Kelly Ripa's character, Hayley. So, at a relatively young age, which is common in soap casting, she could have played the future superstar's mother.

"I guess they just couldn't envision Sunny Adamson as an alcoholic," McCabe joked of her Search for Tomorrow alter ego.

Still, she enjoyed her time in the fictional town of Llanview and after a few years in between was cast as attorney Leslie Duprey on All My Children, a role she loved playing even though she knew going in that the character would be temporary and not a mainstay in Pine Valley.

"The hardest part of that role was learning the dialogue," she said of the legal terms that was required of her character as she was defending multiple-Emmy winning actor David Canary's character of Adam Chandler in a child custody suit.

Of working with the daytime legend Canary, McCabe had only wonderful things to say.

"David Canary was the consummate professional,"she said. "Very quite and studious and focused on his work. A pleasure to be on the set with."

Following AMC, McCabe went back to her Proctor and Gamble - which owned Search - roots and created the role of Bunny Eberhardt on the long-running NBC drama, Another World.

While at AW, her character was pretty much of an island and shared the majority of her scenes with leading man Tom Eplin, who she enjoyed working with and was a fun actor who kept performers fresh because he had an impromptu style that challenged people to keep up with him and do their best work. And the role was different enough from her previous characters that it provided an interesting challenge for the veteran actress.

She had little interaction with the rest of the storylines, though for Bay City loyalists, it's worth mentioning that McCabe noted how lovely lead heroine Victoria Wyndham, who played Rachel, was in her meetings with her before and after joining AW.

After a nearly 15-year hiatus from the genre, during which time she was raising her two children, Yvonne and Nick, McCabe, accepted a one-day role as Carolyn Wheatley on As the World Turns.

Even though it was a single-day shoot, the character was pivotal to the plot and fans were ecstatic to see the daytime legend back on their screen.

In between her start on Search and her work on ATWT, much had changed in the genre, though, which is reflective on how the industry had changed.

"The big difference between soaps from when I started on Search was that Search had cue cards. We were all theater trained and didn't want them," she said noting that the show eventually got rid of them. "I think it would have been different when it was still live."

She noted that obviously dropping ratings, which she directly attributes to the OJ Simpson Trial in 1994-95 when soaps were routinely pre-empted, as the beginning of the big change in the genre that necessitated lower budgets and therefore, less money the actors would make, For veterans who remained on their shows from that time forward until even today, they have had to all basically sign contracts for less money if they wanted to stay in the genre.

And, of course, the lower ratings and high costs of producing soaps eventually led to the mass exodus of all but four of the soaps from today's daytime landscape.

Having a soap career that spanned more than three decades, McCabe has worked with many daytime icons and became close friends with several of therm.

When asked which daytime star she would have loved to have had an opportunity to work with, but, unfortunately, never had the chance to, her answer was quick and simple.

"I never worked with (former Edge of Night, Guiding Light and All My Children star) Larkin Malloy, one of my dearest friends and I adored him as a person. That would have been a real treat."

In the final moments of our phone interview, McCabe showed just how much so many of her co stars meant to her.

When prompted to play a one-word association game with those she worked most closely with on Search, her fond memories were so extensive that she couldn't just limit it to a single phrase.

Here's her comments on some of the stars she worked with.

MARY STUART (Jo, Search) Icon, teacher, mother, friend, mentor.

LARRY HAINES (Stu, Search) Funny, unassuming, glue to the show, friend.

SHERRY MATHIS (Liza, Search) Regal, loving, hard worker, elegant, beautiful.

DAVID FORSYTH (Hogan, Search, John, AW...etc....) Brother, friend, funny, hard working, deep, loving. A joy to work with.

MARCUS SMYTHE (Dane, Search, Peter, AW) Funny, funny, funny! Like a big kid, a big puppy dog.

DOUGLAS STEVENSON (Lee, Search) Sweet, boyish, great friend.

ROD ARRANTS (Travis, Search) Handsome, sweet, kind, very supportive.

As for the actress she was closest to during her run on Search, Louan Gideon, who assumed the role of Liza in 1985, she had even more to say.

"She was such a special person," McCabe said, adding that even after Search ended, their friendship stayed "deep and abiding."

"She had a heart of gold, she was quirky, funny, adorable," McCabe said, adding that when Louan passed away in 2014 after a long bout with breast cancer, her funeral in Asheville, North Carolina, which Marcia attended, was a "five hour love fest. So many people loved her."

And more than four decades after her debut on Search, the same could be said of McCabe, especially from the legion of fans who remained devoted to her long after her soap days, we all love her.

Note: In addition to the Search for Tomorrow Memories Facebook page mentioned in Part One of my feature, there is also an Another World Memories Facebook Page, also run by my friend, Chad Dancer. Look for both groups in the search engine on the social media site.